Sony is Fucked International (SiFL), a high-profile gaming analyst based in New York, NY, has spoken to anyone who will listen about the PSN (PlayStation Network) security breach and believes that Sony's losses could cause 2012-related catastrophes to come earlier than anticipated. With the alarming news that over 70 million PSN user accounts have been compromised, unsubstantiated fears have been raised that hackers will use this information to remotely activate millions of PS3 consoles to harness the power of the cell for malicious purposes, including performing calculations that could disrupt the Mayan calendar, thereby causing massive damages due to the world ending.
"You'd have to be high to believe that" said an in-denial Sony Customer Care rep who we phoned repeatedly for answers to this dire situation.
Sony is Fucked International claims that this is because many gaming forum users become stupid when presented with news that is completely baseless but fits their own biases for or against particular companies. By SiFI calculations, the only reason 'news' like this is posted in the first place is because of fanboys who want it to be true, even when it makes no sense whatsoever.
Undermoderated gaming forums everywhere have reassured stupid forum users that they can still post baseless crap as it drives page views. These gaming sites also remind you to check out their latest top 10 list, which is a lot like the top 10 lists they've done in the past.
In short, if Sony doesn't manage to retake the PSN from hackers, the world as we know it could end slightly sooner than expected.
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